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Help Desk
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CYBERGURU NEWSLETTER - OCTOBER-DECEMBER 2005
Welcome to the CyberGuru newsletter!
This has been sent to clients, prospective clients, family and friends who
have used or shown an interest in CyberGuru's computer solutions.
Information on how to unsubscribe appears at the bottom of this email.
We hope you enjoy this email and look forward to serving your computer
solutions needs in the future.In this issue:
A word from the Chief Guru: Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year
Welcome to the latest issue of the CyberGuru Newsletter. We apologise for
the delay in sending this to you. Over the past few months, I have been
busily completing the final subjects of my university studies. Although we
had planned an issue for May-August 2005, which turned into May-September
2005, and time moved too quickly for us to complete it on time!
Instead, we decided to put together this bumper issue, featuring news,
how-to guides and hints, tips and tricks as well as a range of other
articles. As a special bonus, this issue also features two special
Christmas offers for newsletter subscribers: 10% of a CyberGuru Annual
Support Contract and a free $50 Google AdWords Credit to current CyberGuru
Web Design and Hosting clients.
At the conclusion of another successful year, we would like to thank all
clients, prospective clients, family and friends for their ongoing
support. We wish you and your family a wonderful Christmas and a
successful and prosperous new year.
If there's any computer issue you'd like a solution to, please contact us.
Chris Jeffery
Proprietor/Chief Guru
News: Keep your
spyware definitions updated!
Throughout CyberGuru’s visits, we have found that our clients’ most common
support issue is spyware. Spyware are small programs included with free
software from the Internet. They are installed on computers most often
without the users knowing that they are there. Spyware, as you can guess
from its name, can often intrude on the users' privacy. While the user is
surfing the Internet, the spyware may be recording the websites they visit
and are known to keep details on shopping purchases.
The most common symptoms of spyware include slow operating of the
computer, frequent popups and strange error messages. We highly recommend
even if you do not have these symptoms that you install and keep your
spyware programs frequently updated. If you do not know how to do this, we
suggest you consult your product’s help guides and website or contact us
for a tutorial on how to use this software.
At CyberGuru, we use and recommend two programs simultaneously, “Ad-Aware
Personal SE” and “Spybot Search and Destroy”. Opinion varies between
individuals and organisations as to the products and the number to be used
for the spyware cleaning. At CyberGuru, we are currently considering the
use of a third program to look at decreasing the rate in spyware
infections on our clients' computers. We will keep you posted on this to
assist in eradicating spyware.
As mentioned in the previous issue of the CyberGuru newsletter, Microsoft
has been beta testing Windows AntiSpyware. Windows AntiSpyware will be
free to users of Windows XP. It was predicted to be launched in August
this year but we are still waiting for the final product to be released
before we will review this product. However, it is suggested in the
interim users run Microsoft’s Malicious Software Removal Tool frequently.
Although it is part of the monthly Windows Update, it can be run directly
from http://www.microsoft.com/security/malwareremove/default.mspx.
Christmas Offer 1: 10% off CyberGuru Annual Support Contract
From January 2006, CyberGuru will cease to provide free phone and email
support unless an Annual Support Contract is purchased.
From now until 1 February 2006, newsletter subscribers can receive a 10%
discount on an Annual Support Contract. Normally $250, an Annual Support
Contract enables you to have free phone and online support for just $225
for 2006.
For more information on the CyberGuru Annual Support Contract or to order,
please visit
http://www.cyberguru.com.au/solutions_annualsupportcontract.htm
and complete your details. We will be in touch to arrange payment and
provide you with further details of how to use the service.
Christmas
Offer 2: Free $50 Google AdWords Credit
New and current CyberGuru Hosting and Design clients are able to see for
themselves how effective Google AdWords advertising can be by applying for
a free $50 credit towards their ad campaign to start acquiring new
customers.
Google AdWords ads only appear to people who are actively seeking
information that's relevant to the products and services being advertised.
These ads enable you to convert targeted prospects into customers by
appearing in the right place, and engaging them at precisely the right
moment. The fact that these prospects are online, actively reading pages
and using search terms related to your product or service means they're
likely to be interested in what you have to offer. It also means they're
likely to act by clicking on your ad to visit your site for more
information or to make a purchase.
For more information and to activate your $50 credit, please visit
http://www.cyberguru.com.au/solutions_design_web_publicity_googleadwords.htm
and complete your details. Our friendly AdWords professionals will be in
touch with you to help you set up your campaign.
How-to Guide: Using Microsoft Update to obtain the latest updates to
Windows, Office and other Microsoft applications
Microsoft Update provides the latest updates for your version of Windows,
Office and other Microsoft applications. By using Microsoft Update you can
prevent problems such as security issues. Updates are added frequently so
it is worth checking at least monthly to obtain the latest ones to keep
your computer protected and safe.
This how-to guide is available from our How-to Guides page at
http://www.cyberguru.com.au/helpdesk_howtoguides.htm.
Hints,
Tips and Tricks: Windows Keyboard Shortcuts
Did you know most Windows programs offer keyboard shortcuts, as an
alternative to going through the menu bars?
For example, instead of saving a document by going File, then Save, you
could press the keyboard shortcut [CTRL] + [S] (by pressing the [CTRL] key
on your keyboard and the [S] key together).
We’ve recently updated our Keyboard Shortcuts page and added a range of
new shortcuts to Windows XP, Office and Internet Explorer.
This is available from our Hints, Tips and Tricks page at
http://www.cyberguru.com.au/helpdesk_howtoguides.htm..
Hints, Tips and Tricks: Fun downloads for use over the holidays
Looking for some free downloads to help you keep yourself and the kids
occupied over the Christmas holidays? We have found some useful programs
to help you through the season. Please note that CyberGuru cannot assist
in the installation or running of these downloads nor be liable for
problem which may result from the use of this software. Please contact the
publisher of the download for further assistance.
This is available from our Hints, Tips and Tricks page at
http://www.cyberguru.com.au/helpdesk_howtoguides.htm.
Easter Eggs: Microsoft Excel 2000, Microsoft Outlook 2000, Microsoft Works
7 and Works Suite 2003
Following the interest in the “Easter Eggs” featured in the last CyberGuru
newsletter, here are some more for your enjoyment, including eggs for
Microsoft Excel 2000, Microsoft Outlook 2000, Microsoft Works 7 and Works
Suite 2003.
In Microsoft Excel 2000 you can play a car racing game. When you are
exhausted of looking at rows and columns, have a go at this:
1. Open a blank worksheet.
2. Click File and Save as Web Page.
3. Choose “Selection: Sheet”.
4. Tick the checkbox titled “Add interactivity box before pressing
Publish.”
5. Click “Public” to open Internet Explorer.
6. Press the [Page Down] key to scroll to row 2000. Use the [Right Arrow]
key to move across to column WC.
7. Click 2000 to select the entire row and then press [Tab] until column
WC is highlighted.
8. Hold down [Ctrl], [Alt] and [Shift] and click the Microsoft Office logo
at the top left. The car racing game should appear!
To play the game, you use the arrow keys to move, [Space Bar] to fire at
other vehicles, [H] to turn on headlights and [O] to drop an oil slick and
force other cars to skid.
Microsoft Outlook 2000 features a “catch the mail” game, where you try to
catch the mail before they reach the mailbox! To discover this:
1. Open Microsoft Outlook 2000 as usual.
2. Click the “Contacts” icon.
3. Type “Ren Hoek” in the “Find a Contact” textbox. Ignore the warning
that appears that the contact couldn't be found.
4. Click Tools.
5. Click Macros.
6. Click Macros.
7. Type OL2KRocks in the Macro Name box and press the Create button.
8. When the “About Microsoft Outlook” box appears, hold down [CTRL], [ALT]
and [SHIFT] and click OK.
Microsoft Works 7 or Works Suite 2003 provides a whack-a-mole board game
for your enjoyment. To access this:
1. Open Works Task Launcher.
2. Click “Start a Blank Project”.
3. In the Project Title field, type weiVtcejorP.
4. Click in the empty space below the title, and press [CTRL], [ALT] and
[F6] to start the game.
Joke:
Microsoft Improves Messages on Error Screens
Using the information collected from Online Crash Analysis, Microsoft has
been improving the messages provided on error screens. These errors
include:
Error #000: Unexpected Intelligent User Encountered.
Error #001: Intimidation Failed; Attempting to Crash Repeatedly.
Error #002: Erroneous Error; No Error Occurred (Yet).
Error #003: RAM Depleted; Annex Japan (Y/N)?
Error #004: Deluxe Error. Please Send $75 to Upgrade Your Error.
Error #005: Long File Name Error; Tape Erased to Make Room for Filename.
Error #006: Insufficient RAM to Crash Properly; Attempting Fake Crash.
Error #007: Alphanumeric Sequence “OS2” Prohibited.
Error #008: This License Has Expired; Please Purchase Another Copy.
Error #009: Error Buffer Overflow; Too Many Errors.
Error #00A: Non-Microsoft Application Encountered.
Error #00B: Push Error; Removing Files to Make Room for Advertisement.
Error #00C: Loaded Correctly This Time.
Error #00D: User Error; Lemming Not Found.
Error #00E: Open Standard Encountered; Attempting to Redmondize.
Error #00F: Reserved for Future Coding Errors.
Error #010: Virus Error: Other Applications Will Be Closed Instead.
Error #011: Orwell Not Found; You Must Use MSN.
Error #012: Cash Underflow: Credit Card Number Will Be Assimilated.
Error #013: Keyboard Error; User Must Learn to Slow Down.
Error #014: User Error; Reading License Agreement Mandatory to Continue.
Error #015: Error Message Deleted.
Error #016: Expected Error Did Not Occur; Attempting to Restart Error
Sequence.
Error #017: Multitasking Attempted; System Confused.
Error #018: Network Error: Your Crash Will Be Replicated to All Stations.
Error #019: Freedom-of-Choice Error; Select a Microsoft Browser To
Continue.
Error #01A: Insult Detected:- Your Bill Gates Joke Will Be Deleted.
Error #01B: Error Removing Temporary File; a Permanent File Will Be
Substituted.
Error #01C: Wrong Disk Formatted. Sorry About That.
Error #01D: Mandatory Error Inserted to Meet Error Quota.
Error #01E: Please Insert Your Favourite Error Here.
Error #01F: Error In Progress; Please Wait.
Error #020: Unknown Error Occurred But Was Lost. Will Try To Remember.
Error #021: Error Parsing Error List; Please Wait For Next Error.
Error #022: Upgrade Error; Please Format Your Drive And Reload Everything.
Thanks!
Thanks again for your interest and custom in our solutions. You are
receiving this newsletter because you contacted have CyberGuru, use or
have used our solutions in the past or signed up for the mailing list.
You are welcome to send this newsletter to your friends, family,
colleagues and associates. However, please send the entire message
including this message.
Archives of the newsletter are available at
http://www.cyberguru.com.au/helpdesk_newsletter_archives.htm.
If you wish to stop receiving these newsletters, please email
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If we can assist you in any way through our solutions, please contact us.
Christopher Jeffery trading as CyberGuru
Web:
http://www.cyberguru.com.au
Email:
webenquiryDONOTSPAM@cyberguru.com.au |
